Reflections

Where Do I Go From Here?

• By fannieb
• February 14, 2017
• No Comments

Anger.  Blame.  Frustration.  Annoyance.  These emotions serve a purpose.  They have a place.  I see that a great deal of the world (or at least the U.S.) is in the throes of these emotions and, to me or anyone who has settled in on the other side of them, it is jarring to the spirit.  I ask myself, why such vitriol?  Why such an attraction to competition and the ideas of separateness and of hate?

Life experience, background, upbringing, these are all things that color our perspective.  If we don’t have a reason to wake up from our limited vantage point we can’t see any merit in a different point of view. We can find ourselves stuck fighting for our own theory and against someone else’s.  The opportunity for a different light to color our world and expand our consciousness remains hidden and we remain stuck, polarized and alienated.  Not a good place to be, if you value growth, development, love, peace or humanity.

I don’t feel the need to be right, but I don’t want to feel attacked either. Participating in conversations, knowingly or unknowingly, where others feel such a need to be right is not what I want to expose myself to.  My peace, positivity, and good energy are too important to me.  But this new environment is ripe with opportunities to step into them, unwittingly.

This has caused me to wake up to the fact that many people are operating from a place of conflict and anger – blaming others and fighting to win, without the ability to hear merit in opposing views.  It’s unfamiliar to me to see such blatant disrespect for fairness and equality.  It’s startling to realize how truly scared so many people are.

For a couple of years now, I’ve not felt at home in the United States. This didn’t stem from these new open attacks on civility and tolerance; it arose from something much less conspicuous. The pervasive killing of black men, convicted in the streets, opened my eyes.  And, while so many binge watch this TV show or flock to that blockbuster movie, I’m underwhelmed by the popular culture here in the U.S.  I find myself not caring and disconnecting.  I feel isolated and alone.  My tastes have changed and so has the climate here.  It has given me pause, and I consider other places I could call home.

When I experienced success at life without a living parent, my other strong tie to the U.S. loosened.  This opened up in me a freedom and desire to expand my horizons, to seek beauty and peace in a new and different place.  Anger. Blame. Frustration. Annoyance.  These emotions have no place there.

Photo Credit: Jose Manuel mazintosh